How a Messed up Childhood Affects You in Adulthood
Have you ever wondered the reason for attracting the same type of relationship, career, and some other frustrating situation? Have you ever felt frustrated and depressed feeling stuck in a situation repeatedly and tired of asking the question "why me??"Give me a high five!
I have been in the exact situation many times for the past 10 years till I had an awakening. Do you know that the first few years of our childhood experiences are repeated in our adulthood? Our experiences in our childhood from the age 7-12 will be programmed in our subconscious mind and will be repeated for our entire life unconsciously.
Nobody wants to attract something bad and make their life miserable consciously. Our subconscious mind is 10 times more powerful than our conscious mind. We attract every person and situation repeatedly and experience it over and over again in a cycle. Our reaction to the person and situation creates more consequences unconsciously. It goes around repeatedly till you learn your lesson and remember your real power and worth. It might even take many lifetimes. This cycle is called as karma.
A woman who truly wants a life partner consciously might be having a hidden subconscious thought or belief that she is not worth to be loved due to the abandonment by her father when she was a child. This lady will always attract a man who will abandon her .
Subconsciously she couldn't believe that someone actually loves her. Since she is not aware of her own distorted subconscious belief, the same type of relationship will be attracted in her life and she will forever go on blaming everybody till the rest of her life.
We as a human being have accumulated millions of pain, emotions, fear, and beliefs since childhood unconsciously. This emotions and pain are called as "pain body" by master Eckhart Tolle. This pain body and hidden emotions will make the same type of decision and reaction in life.
Most of the time we are not aware of this type of pattern,instead we label ourselves as "hot-tempered" when we react impulsively to people who disagree with us,"irrational" when we become very emotional to certain type of situation,"jealous "when we get irritated to other people's achievement and etc. Every time we get triggered by something or somebody, we label or blame ourselves without realizing that there is something to be healed within us.
Each of us has our own version of self-sabotaging beliefs and stories. We view the world based on our subconscious belief system. We never look at a situation for what it truly is. We add meaning to every situation and people's behavior based on our past experience.
For example,people who were brought up by parents who teach them "money is evil " will believe good people are not meant to have money or wealth. This belief system will easily attract a less abundant life and they will have a problem attracting wealth and money.Regardless how hard they work , they will have difficulties attracting or accumulating wealth.
Every trigger and extreme emotional reactions is a message that there is something in us need to be explored and healed.Awareness is the key to everything. Once we are aware of our own pattern, the unconscious pattern or behavior will be interrupted. The pattern which continues after having awareness is just a habit which will go on for some time as a momentum and will be eliminated sooner or later.
When we are aware of our pattern, we can see the choice we have. The choice to choose the right response or decision without creating a permanent damage to our life. You will become a new person and will attract the life you desire.
I used to get furious every time someone compares me to others and will have the resentment for years even if the comparison was done only once. When I started to observe my pattern and inquired the root cause of my reaction, i realized that I was compared with other kids by my parents .That had really damaged the sense of self worth and i felt unworthy every time I make a small mistake. It was a childhood experience which was programmed into my subconscious mind and had ruined my relationship with friends and family many times. Once I became aware of my pattern, I changed my reaction towards people who compare me with others.
We attract the same type of experience or people repeatedly in order to heal a distorted belief system within ourselves. The Divine is always trying to help and heal us in order to help us to be the best version of our self.Healing our past and disempowering beliefs help us to attach a new meaning to everything in our life.
When our perspective changes, our life changes. An enlightened person is not free of problems but free from giving it a distorted meaning. His perspective changed, therefore it is not a problem anymore. An obstacle can be looked as a nightmare OR it can also be looked as a blessing to protect us from a bigger disaster.
So, do you have any destructive pattern, belief or behavior? Have you analyzed yourself? Have you asked the right question? Which part of your life is always a mess or repeated in the same manner?
How can one raise his awareness? Please refer to my article on "Self-awareness".I have shared some techniques to recognize our destructive pattern and heal it.